IT’S HEARTBREAKING 

This is when Jacob not be able to communicate with talking is heartbreaking.  Jacob left pre-school today with a red scratch on his eye lid bless him and looks sore. They asked if he had it before he arrived which he didn’t. They said they will look through the cameras, so I rang to see […]

HE WAVED BYE BYE 

This special boy done something today that he has never been able to, it was one of the red flag’s of Autism that I noticed.  He waved and said bye bye!  I cried, the nursery nurse was so excited and Jacob started to laugh.  Most mum’s dream of their little boys growing up, I was […]

Why I Left You 

Today was the 4th time we visited your pre-school and the day I decided to leave you….  I had nightmares, panic attacks and anxiety worrying about the first time I would leave you. Would they look after you, would your needs be met, or would they be mean to you. Would they know that you […]

AUTISM OR CRANIOSYNOSTOSIS? 

If you read my post yesterday ‘You lead I follow’ you will know that we had a specialist appointment with Mr Johnson at John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford.  I was so nervous, I teared up of the thought that Jacob may need a major operation on his skull. On the other hand I craved to […]

YOU LEAD I FOLLOW

We have Jacobs appointment with the craniofacial team tomorrow. This last month I haven’t been present in my mind the only thing I’ve thought about is this appointment. We have many appointments a week but this one has played on my head.  I don’t know if Jacob has craniosynostosis but I’m really hoping that we […]

FEELING LEFT OUT 

Sorry I haven’t been around, so much crap has been happening with Jacob (you can see here) and family life and struggling a little! You can read my last update where I speak more about how I’ve been feeling. But all is ok, I will get there.   For the past 6 months are lives have […]

SOMETIMES ITS SO HARD 

Sometimes I don’t know how to feel, what to say or how to act.  Some days I want to scream and shout ‘Why my son?’ Why must he go through life with people judging him and treating him so different. I pause and stop myself before I even continue. I hate myself for thinking this, […]